Amidst the higher gods

joesie

I thought Ralph was already gone. Left me without uttering any words and take away the blissful moments that we had. I have shed a bucket of tears for him and consistently asked myself, what had gone wrong? With my misery of his lost, a new friend, Derek, came. He was there when I was so down about Ralph and is still there to help me with my endeavors. His heart was broken like mine but it's been a long time since it happened to him, but he never cried until i forced him to open up to me and cry his heart out. He hated me for making him shed some tears cause he told me that it is hard for him to cry infront of anyone else, but he loved me as much as he hated me. I consider him as my crying shoulder, and i guess i am his crying shoulder as well. Lol.

I was slowly and still trying to move on with Ralph's lost. Thursday afternoon someone texted me and we talked over the landline, it wasn't Ralph, but Van, my ex-boyfriend instead. We said "hellos" and asked the condition of one another; it was a nice conversation indeed. After hearing from Van again, we started to have communication again and he began to be sweet again, but of course I don't give double meaning to his sweetness. He still calls me the endearment that he used to call me before, when we were still together, and this is quite funny for me but at the same time I appreciate his thoughtfulness and his sweetness. Evey now and then he often text me and he told me that he's happy that he could talk to me again and he can't wait for his review class (for Nursing Board Exam) to start that will be held just beside my school. He asked permission from me if he could visit me sometime in my dorm or fetch me from school after my classes and I just said "whatever he wants." He also apologized for what had happened to us and it was no great deal for me now and I'm glad that we're starting to get close again.

Saturday morning to lunch time, I was talking to Derek and we were telling stories to one another and making fun of one another as well. Around 3pm, the phone rang and I answered it, to my surprise it was Ralph. He called, but why? He explained his self to me and continously asked for my forgiveness. Of course, I was quite mad and I think we don't have a reason for us to talk again but he insisted(e di pagbigyan... chos). I don't know if I have to believe in his explanation or sounds like more of an excuse, but what the hell just happened to us. Could I just forget it easily? I told him that I already forgave him but it may be hard for me to trust him again. I told him that if he is really persistent about me then he has to gain my trust again. Fully 100% trust or maybe 95% will do.

People come and go into our life and most of the time in the most unexpected time.